PSYCHO 101

(An online course available for college credit)

Syllabus

PSYCHO 101

 

I hope the Arabs

nuke Cleveland or else I’m going to look like a complete jackass.

Rupert Murdoch is the biggest SOB who ever lived. I’m proud to work for him.

Someone stole my banana.

Psycho? I can teach it.

People watch me because they’re as crazy as I am!!!

Here’s JOHNNY!

I’ll shoot anyone who calls me a nut-job.

I’ve never been the same since I was abducted by a flying saucer.

I’ve been called “The Happy Jew” ever since I was a kid.

This is not a mask!

You wanna talk drugs? I’ll talk drugs. Are you recording this?

The only man to survive six suicide missions.

I love working in a roadside motel. There are so many exciting things to do.

Guest Speakers

I am not a psycho.

The most popular girl in high school.

“Smiling Tom“ said no jail could hold him.

 

Sometimes it helps to make people think you’re crazy.

I got my name from cream de mint liquore.

Recipient of the “2009 Grave Diggers Award of the Year.”

Pals

I’m proud to say I have 200 proof whiskey running through my veins.

I’ve discovered that Americans love genuine crackpots.

I think of myself as the corn-on-the-cob representative.

You win some, you lose some. You win some, you lose some. You win some, you lose some.


For years I thought I was a Rabbi. Now I know I’m not.

As a Zionist, I have a right to be crazy.

When I was a Boy Scout, I used to

help old ladies

cross the

street.

I’ve memorized over twelve thousand Holocaust films.

Then one day I got real lucky and got a job as a cab driver.

I’ll never forgive the Mexicans for giving me Montezuma’s Revenge.

How would you like it if you’d been struck by lightning seven times?

I had a wonderful time and met some nice people.

Is it okay if I call my Mother?

I’ve saved more people than Jesus Christ and it only costs $700.00.

My teachers always said I had a wooden personality.

Let’s do lunch sometime.

I asked the Lord to make me wise, and He did.

I’m not crazy. I’m a Republican.

I gave up a cricket game to come here.

I’ve never had any problems with massive doses of Prozac.

One word:


Plastics.

I kinda liked prison.

I’d like to deputize everyone at the conference.

Nobody likes me.

I  like

to  talk


very


slowly.

What do you mean, “I’m creepy”?

Why do you think I’m psychotic?

I see nothing wrong with having too much money.

Is this the Halloween Party?

I thought about wearing a

devil’s mask, but decided against it.

I’m proud of the progress I’ve made for fashion designers.

I married the most wonderful man.

Everyone

makes mistakes.

Sometimes I think I’m going to freak out.

I don’t worry about money.

I found a Muslim under my bed today.

This party sucks.

Hi, everybody, it’s Bill Clinton!

I married

an asshole.

Mad scientists aren’t all bad.

You’re all a bunch of stinking dirty rats!

Better to be stupid than crazy.

I hope no one thinks I’m a crazy crook.

I lived on cheese and crackers when I was in college.

starring Glenn Beck as “The Blob”

from horrormovieshows

Seminar includes a preview of

Glenn Beck’s new movie...

This is a huge syllabus. Please be patient while the instructor adds more. Serious students can prepare for class by researching “Republicans,” “Zionists,” and “Disgraced CIA Agents.”

Home

I only stole money from smart people.

I’m going to pretend I don’t see that fly in my champagne.

Just because I’m psychotic doesn’t mean I’m a bad person.

I don’t see anything wrong with insanity.

I love being a crazy Jew.

I’m not a whacko. I’m from Oklahoma.

My doctors said I couldn’t be helped.

I’d rather be a sleazebag than a nut-job.

Hospitailzed. Cancelled appearance

The Lord bessed me with many girlfriends.